December 6, 2011

life here lately

Ladies and gents, let me tell you that life has been a big fat banana split lately. Mostly bananas with a side of split personality. I'm sure that's all making sense.
I've spent the last month feeling completely overwhelmed. I've felt over-worked, let-down, taken for granted and a whole lot of self pity. My sense of humour had just about vanished completely and I was beginning to lose all hope. People keep telling me that buying a house and moving is way up there on the list of stressful things with losing a loved one. I believe them but also I want to jump on top of them and pull their hair. Totally rational reaction, right?

This old house in so many ways is a dream. Once it's come together it will be a home sweet home. But until then I have a feeling it's trying to destroy me. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it is undoing all of my hard work while I sleep.

Sleep. There's the other thing. Georgia Grace, my once grade-A sleeping champ is now a wreck. Before moving here this kid hadn't fallen asleep by my side since infanthood. Now she can't possibly pass out unless Jesse or I are beside her patting her bum (at her request folks, I'm not a rabid fan of toddler butt. that's not true. her bum is adorable!). I sneak out when she is safely asleep but when she inevitably wakes up in the night I have to drag myself back in there. It's a nice period of quiet mama and babe time but I fear that we're forming a habit that I'm not at all keen on. My heart breaks when she asks to go home. I wish she could understand that this is a home that we bought to give her the space and freedom to be the wackadoodle monkey that she is. Alas, toddlers look reason in the face and yell "MUMA, NOOOO!".

So there is my life lately. My hair is a mess, I haven't changed my pants in days and I'm beginning to feel like the crazy box lady. But the good thing is that I'm beginning to feel like my old self again. Self-pity levels are waning and my love of my new seafoam green office is on the rise. There are still a few guest posts on the way while I finish up the last of the unpacking, but I am so looking forward to getting back to blogging.

Thank you all for sticking with me through one of the more difficult periods of my life so far. I tried to remain quiet during the hard parts but sometimes the silence says is all.