August 24, 2011


One of my greatest everyday struggles as a mama is keeping the swear words out of the ears of my babe.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - I have the potty mouth of a sailor.  In an attempt to keep it clean I've come up with a number of non-swear swears to use in the company of toddlers.  These are some of my favourites fakes (please imagine me stubbing my toe and then screaming the following):

Mother Fluffer!! (that could be dirty.  I haven't checked Urban Dictionary.)

When I was a kid my favourite non-swear was Cheesus (like Jesus).  Apparently that was cutting it too close according to my mothers sensibilities.   I can remember a slap to the back of the head after stubbing my toe climbing into my fathers super family friendly two door sports car.  Cheesus doesn't approve of nonsense like that.